You know it when you hear it

“Barnard to bed, Columbia to wed.”

“Barnard: backdoor to Columbia.”

We’ve heard it before. We’ve laughed at it. Some of us may have even said it. These are just two of many jokes that get circulated at NSOP and at parties, that put down Barnard women. It has become a Columbia tradition, in a manner of speaking, to pass down these kinds of jokes to the next generation of students.

When two institutions are located near each other, it may seem almost natural that tensions arise. After all, we often hear Columbia students call NYU “the school downtown,” or Princeton our ultimate rival. But the case with Columbia and Barnard is entirely different. With our schools across the street, and our students interacting on a daily basis, it is essential that we confront tensions. Even if such tensions are natural, that doesn’t mean that they’re right, or that we should take them for granted.

So many students recognize crude stereotypes of Barnard women in the first place, and it shows the jokes have become an ingrained component of the Columbia-Barnard relationship, but it’s shameful that people make these quips in the first place. Barnard has existed since 1889, well before Columbia went coed in 1982—that is, before the idea that Barnard was simply an appendage of Columbia began to take hold. More simply, though, we should not perpetuate a culture that derives humor from putting down our peers.

The first step to addressing a problem is to acknowledge it for what it is: a problem. Many students already condemn this sort of disrespect, but many more of us need to start doing it publicly. That doesn’t just mean not repeating the insults—it also includes not being the onlooker when someone else makes them. Doing nothing and allowing “a joke” to go by is just as bad as saying it in the first place.

It’s also important to realize that avoiding the symptoms of this antagonism ignores exploring something more important: the root of the antagonism. We can try to better integrate students in the two institutions, but that may not address the underlying misogyny and elitism behind these jokes.

A shift in culture is the only way to solve anything at all—specifically, a shift toward a culture of real mutual respect. One single discussion will not put an end to every Barnard joke—but that means starting an ongoing discussion on perceptions, on attitudes, and on the way we treat each other is the one of the few things that will. Most importantly, every one of us needs to avoid being a bystander when we hear these jokes, and every one of us must say that this is no space for them. Then we can hope for our culture to change.