Not strong and beautiful, yet

Early spring semester, my friends and I met a student admitted to Barnard Early Decision whose first question was: “I heard some Columbia students look down on Barnard. Is that true?” To think that students are troubled by such an awkward question even before they attend Barnard saddens me. But then the discussion unraveled into a typical one concerning how many Barnard students had encountered situations in which Columbia students did not give them enough respect just because they were from Barnard. I began to wonder whether others’ apparent lack of respect is the only problem in this troubling relationship. Are we really so “strong and beautiful” that it is others’ faults for not recognizing this and giving us the respect we deserve?

The general argument many Barnard students make is “we are intellectual students, just like all of you on the other side of Broadway, and therefore you must give us respect.” Susan Cohen’s op-ed last Friday (“Shit Columbia says about Barnard,” Feb. 3) is just one example of such an argument. The problem is that in an ideal world, everyone would respect everyone else because all men and women are born equal. In the real world, respect is not something that can be demanded. It has to be earned. We can change no one in this world except ourselves. Instead of asking others to change, why not become more powerful ourselves? Telling people we deserve respect is useless. We must show people that we deserve respect.

Barnard women must become more active, vocal, and diligent both in and out of class. We must not be afraid to compete for leadership positions or prestigious internships. We have to be stronger to overcome hardship and prejudice. Columbia College and Columbia College students earned people’s respect with the success of their alumni, quality of education allowed by a large endowment, and fruitful intellectual community. Barnard and Barnard students must do the same to earn the respect of others, rather than demand it. The unofficial motto of “strong, beautiful Barnard women” should not be used for delusional positive thinking, as if a student will suddenly become strong, beautiful, and entitled to everybody’s respect the moment she enrolls in Barnard. After a few small successes in classes, jobs, and internships, I thought I had grown up and become a stronger woman during my time at Barnard. But now I have realized that I am far from there. There is no end to this road. “Strong and beautiful” is a lofty goal for which every woman should always strive.

The non-Barnard defenders of Barnard students often cite how bright and talented their Barnard friends are—friends whose exceptional qualities convince them that Barnard indeed has respectable, fascinating students just like Columbia does. I also have been blessed to have a group of Barnard friends who are unbelievably intelligent and special in their own ways. Some of them have SAT scores lower than Columbia College’s median score, and some of them have higher ones. But it would be sad for anyone to think that SAT scores and exact GPAs actually reflect intelligence, as geographical factors, socioeconomic opportunities, and luck may play a much more important role in one’s achievements today.

What any Barnard student should aim to accomplish is to use the invaluable opportunities the institution provides to become 10 times as strong and beautiful as her high school self. This is the purpose of Barnard today—to empower young women in ways that co-ed institutions cannot do. I look forward to the day when the most important question in a prospective student’s mind is not about the uncomfortable relationship between Barnard and Columbia. Only then will Barnard students stand in prominent, respected positions alongside with the best and brightest of the world—not by constantly whining about others’ lack of respect and simply waiting for changes to happen. The change has to be brought about by Barnard students themselves.

The author is a Barnard College sophomore majoring in East Asian studies.